The Vincent Black Shadow – Fears In The Water
Bodog
July 11, 2006

(dial tone)

(beep beep boop.  boop boop beep beep.)

(ringing)

(line picks up)

Female:  Adrian, put some freaking pants on! I’m sick of star—um, sorry, hello?

Male:  Gwen, is that you?

Gwen:  Yeah, it’s me.

Male:  Hey, it’s Glen (Ballard).

Gwen:  Hey Glen, good to hear from you.  We’re just in the studio working on post-Rock Steady material.  I know it’s been like, five years, but we’re just putting the finishing touches on it.  Should be out by the end of the year.

Glen:  Gwen, that’s so cool!  I’m sure the new material sounds great.  In fact, I know the new material sounds great!  That’s why I’m calling.  I just wanted to call and say that you killed it at Chain Reaction on Thursday night – those new songs have some real drive to them – I’m liking this edgy, alternative sound you have going on.  It’s different than the last record, that’s for sure!

Gwen:  Um, Glen, but I…

Glen:  Seriously!  Jerry (Harrison) was there too and said he’s digging the new look.  I mean, ditching the blonde hair is risky stuff, but he said you looked hotter than ever!  We could hardly even tell it was you!   But those tunes…

Gwen:  Glen look, I think…

Glen:  Those new tunes!  I mean, you have some passion in this new stuff!  Don’t get me wrong, I love your records, you know I do, you know it, I mean, Return Of Satan, er, I mean, Saturn of course, is unbeatable!  Of course it is!  But I am just really digging new stuff – I mean, those guitars are rocking harder than they ever have before!  Rocking out Gwen, embracing those punk roots but keeping pop at the forefront, you’re a smart woman Gwen, a smart woman!  Geez..

Gwen:  Glen!  I wasn’t…

Glen:  Look, just keep doing what you’re doing.  I don’t need to know where all this energy came from.  You sound great.  The boys sound great.  The tour is gonna sell like crazy.  Look, we’re good, all good.  I gotta go, I gotta pick up my Rapide from the shop.  Needed a tune up.  Gonna be running as smooth as butter now.  Smooth as glass.  Smooth as melted chocolate!  Just like you guys!  Smooth, Gwen, Smooth.  “He said I’m crazy I know he said I’m crazy I know All I can say is that the drugs don’t work no more!” – but it sounds like bubblegum pop!  You’re a freaking genius!

Gwen:  I swear, I don’t underst…

Glen:  Thanks Gwen, thanks.  Great talking.  We’ll see you soon.  Get drinks.  Rasmopolitans right?  We’ll do it, we’ll do it.  Celebrate.  See you later.  (hangs up)

Gwen:  (hangs up phone)  What in the world…?

(Adrian walks in the room, naked, with a smile on his face)

7.5/10

If you had to listen to two tracks:  Metro / Bullet On The Tracks